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The wrongs of children under the auspices of incoherent families
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Mehyi al-Din ‘Issou- Al Thara
3-7-2010
A seventy year- old man from Hassaka Governorate married five wives and divorced the oldest in order to comply with Islamic Shari’a principles which do not permit marriage with more than four wives. His five wives have given him forty children and his grandchildren number around seventy. The majority of those who have studied did not obtain the intermediate schooling certificate; all of them work in agriculture and land cultivation and livestock-raising.
This familial example, incoherent in respect to the number of children and grandchildren and the way of life which we often see in our rural society (in which the role of the family is distinctly lacking), is also incoherent because the family upbringing diverges from its’ two interests. These are to guarantee healthy rearing of the child in his/her first period of life and to prepare the essential components in a child’s growth and to consider the first years which the child spends at home among the influences most responsible for his/her future formation as they are the first medium in which s/he grows, and absorbs the moral codes and traditions and habits and healthy understandings through an affectionate atmosphere with which s/he interacts in the family. If this atmosphere is lacking then the harmful result is an incoherent family and children without aspiration or a bright future.
According to the site Wikipedia, the family assumes very important identity duties and responsibility for the guardianship of the children, supplying them with an appropriate environment for fulfilling their biological and societal needs, as well as preparing them to participate in social life and to understand its values and habits. The family supplies children with the tools necessary to fulfill themselves within society, and therefore the family is responsible for maintaining stability, security, protection, and affection for the children throughout childhood, as well as distancing them from all form of deviances and wrongs which they might fall into, among them: fights, stealing, begging, skipping school, smoking, drugs, and running away from home.
The family is numbered among the most important organizations which participate in the societal raising of individuals within the society at large and the greatest influence in the lives of individuals and groups. And the family has, in the past for centuries, continued to take up the duty of early education. Among its objectives is for the old to teach the young the way of living and behaviors in addition to provisions of physical and psychological needs necessary to individuals. Among the family’s duties is to establish the limits of its own boundaries and the skill with which it fulfills its economic, ethic, and educational needs. The family was the elemental center in the life of individuals, and the first block in the building of society. In its essence it was an exquisite link to the point of representing in actuality a small society, and forming a unit which possesses functional specialization, or a system within society which widens and develops incrementally.
Parents are responsible in a direct way for familial protection, and for offering planning and advice to their children and prohibiting them from perpetrating wrongs-by means of dialogue and intervention when necessary. Several of the families in Hassaka Governorate lean towards following a negligent style in raising their children, through a lack of following their children or lack of entering into their choices of friends, except when under supervision or guidance, and that leads the children to demonstrate deviance in many cases. This is the situation which occurred several months ago in one of the regions within Hassaka Governorate. A man with four wives (divorced from three)- committed the murder of one of his daughters under the pretext of honor because she fled with a non- family member. This case also forms a clear example of the disintegration of the family and the lack of attention of the father in interaction with his children. In many of the families in rural, less-developed regions, the fathers are not concerned with the words or actions during the upbringing of their children except when a disaster happens, and the children have the audacity to commit a wrong or sin. I recount here a story regarding negligence, when a man stole money, and he was brought to punishment and sought his mother, and the mother came to the summons for him to meet her, then he bit her with a severe bite, and she said to him: Are you not grieved by what you have done? And he said: I stole an egg when I was small, and you encouraged me and consented to the crime until it led me to what I steal now.
In conclusion it is possible to say that the family plays a large role in the supervision of children- from the time of their births- and in forming their morals and their behaviors. And how beautiful is the saying of Omar Bin Abd Al-Aziz- God rest his soul- “Salvation from God and good breeding from fathers”. Or to cite the character Salah Al-Din Al- Ayoubi- God rest his soul-, who found that the secret of his success and distinction was caused by the upbringing which he experienced at home, as several psychologists have expressed: “We grant the first seven years of a child’s life will demonstrate to you the formation which the child will take”. The family is the first nucleus of the human system and the most powerful influence on the behaviors of the individual and therefore participates with great ability among the direct supervisors in societal progress in creating character and refining comportment. It is the responsibility of governmental and civil organizations to work towards provisioning the family in dispersed and less-developed regions in order to improve styles of child- rearing in terms of social behavior and confrontation and guidance. It is also necessary for the societal components which live in the regions and those affiliated with the home environment to agree upon the route used to guide seminars, by means of making prominent the family role in the raising of children and in making known the correct styles of upbringing which need to be followed and also the poor styles which need to be abandoned. The work is to improve the families’ way of life, for it is the family itself which forms the interior of society, to the point which it is possible for them to supply the needs of individuals in the family and to supply work opportunities suitable to those children who have slipped away from education. These jobs should correspond to their age and their predilections which make them desire pay suitable to guarantee them a generous life for their offspring, and which (when unmet) may set them on the path of deviance. Also it is necessary to speak of the changes in curriculum of child- rearing, whereupon it is important to ensure the necessity of centering the power in the hands of both parents, not in the hands of the father alone or in the hands of the mother alone, until it is possible for better decisions to be made within the family. Finally there is the work of supplying cultural and entertainment services, especially within remote regions, which are now completely lacking such services, by means of establishing gardens, clubs, libraries, and cultural centers, in order to hold the attention of the children there, rather than in the streets, which can lead them into trouble.
Thara E- Magazine No. 240 ,3/7/2010
Reproduction permitted with appropriate citation |
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